Down The Wrong Track
by NickiForDraco
Summary: “What have you been doing to yourself?” Ron said sympathetically, I didn’t know why he was pretending he has just noticed that my appearance had changed, everyone had noticed. What's wrong with Harry? HP/DM Slash. Rated M, drug use/suicidal references


The room was so silent it was almost eerie. I sat in the dark, alone. I was alone most of the time lately. Because when I had to go out and spend time with people I had to pretend to be something I'm not, I got sick of it. I watched through my dorm window as the first years had their flying lessons, further to the left and closer to the forest was Hagrid's house; I could see him searching for something. I closed the curtain again and looked up at the roof. This place needed something more fun, bright. It was so dull and boring it almost made me sick to the stomach.

I jumped as I heard a light patting on the door.

"Come in." I said, just audible enough for the person to hear.

They slowly crept over the threshold and cautiously walked towards me.

"Harry… are you alright? You've been in here all day… again." Ron spoke slowly, as if I had a condition that required people to talk half the speed they would to anyone else.

"Yes. Fine," I replied coldly.

I hadn't meant to be mean, but I guess after trying to hide myself away for so long and everyone trying to invade, it makes you angry at anyone who attempts to speak to you.

He looked at me suspiciously, like I was doing something wrong right at that moment.

"What?" I snapped.

"Can I turn a light on?" He asked quietly.

"I guess,"

He walked over to the lamp next to the closest bed and flicked it on and turned back and looked at me, he gasped.

"Harry… what's wrong with you!" He exclaimed.

I got confused, did I look like something was wrong… I looked at my reflection in the window, I was thinner than normal, I was too thin… you could tell even when I was wearing my long sleeved baggy shirt, my eyes were bloodshot and red, dark purple coloured circles surrounded my eyes and my skin had turned to a pale yellow colour… but this was normal for me.

"What have you been doing to yourself?" Ron said sympathetically, I didn't know why he was pretending he has just noticed that my appearance had changed, everyone had noticed.

"Nothing, I've been doing nothing, I'm fine! Can't I have peace for one single day?" I yelled at him.

He didn't say another word as he got up and left the room, turning the light off and shutting the door as he left. Once I was sure he was out of ear shot, I ran over to my bed and flung open my bedside table. I grabbed a little sachet full of crystallized powder and opened it; I realized I only had enough for the rest of the night. I stuck my finger in my mouth to wet it, dipped it inside the sachet and used what I had left and then put my finger back in my mouth. I felt my whole mouth tingle as that familiar sensation filled my body.

I felt a little hungry so I decided I would go down and have dinner with everyone. I shouldn't have been so rude to Ron earlier, but I needed that familiar sensation running through my body. I grabbed a cloak with a hood so I could cover my face as headed out of my dark sanctuary. I pulled on my hood and headed for the Great Hall.

I realized that people were staring at me, and tried my hardest to ignore it. I had suddenly lost my appetite by the time I got to the Great Hall. It's an affect from the drugs, but I didn't care. When I walked into the Great Hall, most people turned to look at me. Most of them hadn't seen me for days seeing as I lock myself in my room all the time. I looked at each table, most of the Slytherins were staring wide-eyed, I saw Draco Malfoy look at me then look away shocked. I walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down.

"Harry, I haven't seen you down here in days, where have you been?" Hermione looked at me with a worried expression; she scanned my body up and down, noticing all my flaws.

"In my room,"

"What have you been eating? You haven't been down for a meal in almost a week, look how skinny you've gotten!"

"I have been eating!" I lied. I just never felt hungry anymore.

I saw Ron shake his head lightly as he gave Hermione a serious look.

I nibbled on a piece of pie, trying to eat even though I wasn't hungry. Hermione kept looking at me warily, probably making sure I was eating something. Dinner went by slowly, I hated being in the light, it gave my skin a weird transparent kind of look. I sat in silence for most of dinner, people didn't bother talking to me anymore, and they knew I would either snap at them or ignore them if they did. After dinner had finish I went to go back to my room, I needed another hit. The effect was wearing off. I then remembered I had used the last of it before I had come down, so I had to go find my dealer.

I scanned the crowd and saw them walking out of the hall with their head down. I casually walked up to them and nudged him.

"I need more."

They just nodded and quickly glanced at an empty hallway, I knew what this meant so I casually walked down it and into an empty classroom. I was waiting for about five minutes and I had started to get more irritated by the second, then they walked in with their hood on, shutting the door behind them.

"Harry… I can't sell you anymore… Look at what it's doing to you!" He sighed and sat on the desk next to me.

"I don't care! I need it! You don't understand!" I shouted.

"Harry… I can't." He looked at me apologetically and put his hand on mine.

"Draco… you said you love me!"

He hesitated. "I do!"

"Then do this for me. You know I need it, I'll try cut down, but I _need_ it right now!"

He stood up and reached into his pocket pulling out a sachet of crystallized powder.

"This has to last you at least a week okay? I can't get anymore till then anyway," Draco handed me the sachet regrettably.

"I love you."

"I love you too," He didn't look up at me as he said it.

I hopped off the table and leaned in to kiss him, he pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up at me.

"Harry… I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you… not when you're always drugged up every time we're together. I'm sorry I got you into the drugs in the first place… I never meant for you to get addicted, I thought it was just going to be a thing we could do together every now and then. I know what else you've been doing Harry… I thought you were happy."

I ignored his comment and whispered, "You're… you're breaking up with me?" I felt numb… for the first time in a long time I was feeling something other then my usual high. I grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eyes; there was no hint of a joke. I felt the tears welling up in my bloodshot eyes. He reached up and grabbed my left wrist; he pulled my sleeve up to reveal the scars and new gashes in my wrist.

"I've known you have been doing this for a long time; I just never said anything… I didn't want to hurt you." He let go of my hand and pulled my sleeve back down.

"How…" I trailed off. I couldn't speak. He knew everything now… he knew every flaw, every mistake.

"I could just tell." He whispered.

"Is this the end?" I choked.

He just nodded as a tear streamed down his beautiful face; he then turned and left the room. I felt empty, completely empty. I could feel the tears running down my hollow face and I fell to the ground. My body started to shake as I curled into a ball. It felt like I was crying for hours, unmoving. My life was nothing without him with me.

I finally sat up and grabbed the sachet filled with my only friend. I dipped my finger in. I felt the sensation running through my body as I stood and left the room, the hall was quiet besides the distant echoes of people having a heated conversation, as I got closer the voices sounded familiar and I could make out what they were saying.

"How could you Malfoy? How could you do this to him?" Hermione almost yelled.

"I didn't know it would get so bad… I thought we were just having fun…"

"Why were you with him in the first place?"

I heard Malfoy gasp and stutter. No one knew we were together, no one knew we were gay…

"He's… Um, Well… We were dating" He sounded as if he was choking back tears.

I stood frozen in place, unable to move. He had told Hermione everything… now my life was really over.

"You were… what?"

"He's… he was… my boyfriend,"

"Was?" She managed to gasp.

"I couldn't take it anymore, I love him Hermione, I love Harry more than anything but I couldn't take his drugged up suicidal state anymore!"

I heard Draco fall to the ground as Hermione stood quietly. I walked slowly towards them… neither of them noticed my presence until I coughed lightly.

"Harry!" They both screamed once they saw me. Draco stood up and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I'm so sorry Harry, I really am!"

Hermione still seemed to be in shock and just stood there staring at us. She didn't seem repulsed… more like frightened.

"I'm sorry too Draco… I promise I'll stop… I'll stop everything, I'll stop the drugs, the cutting… as long as you stay with me."

"I will! I will stay with you Harry!"

Hermione didn't say another word to me for the rest of the night, but I knew she would accept me for who I am soon. She left soon after mine and Draco's reunion.

"I promise this will be the new beginning. Things will change from here on out." I whispered as I touched Draco's face.

"I promise I'll stand by you each step of the way," He leant forward and kissed me.

I looked into his eyes and smiled, he smiled back. I knew that my journey will be rough, but as long as I have Draco by my side, I can do anything. This was the just the beginning.

A/N: So guys, what do you think? please review and tell me what you thought, also if people request it I may write a prequel to tell you all what started all this drama, or a sequel to tell you all Harry's struggle to be a better person!

Xx

Nicki!


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